Omg... I need to let this out somewhere. I can't keep it in. I been trying to keep myself from being irritated, but I'm over the line right now.
I'm seriously considering that I can't stick with this girl any longer.
I was already a bit irritated with her since her presence gives me a sense of pressure and that she's starting to blame us for things when she should've put some work into it to begin with.
I know I'm not helping... or that I really wasn't that much help at the time either due to my lack of idea, but it's not like she was much help or suggested anything as well. It was always negative comments from her. Although I know she was just "reminding" her "reminding" often sounds condescending.
Something she said pulled me over the edge though.
"Well other groups say that we aren't that serious about doing the graduate project anyways..."
My blood pressure skyrocketed. I'm fine with fixing stuff if you give some suggestions on what we could do or at least offer to fix something together. I honestly was about to faint with irritation. My tolerance is wearing thin.
I'm tired of negative feedback when there has been no suggestions for improvement.
I'm tired of being constantly criticized when SOMEONE is just looking at her phone talking about her idol.
I'm tired of blaming myself for being too easily angered.
I'm seriously considering not keeping in contact with this woman. Things have been getting too personal and her lack of ability to face the situation is seriously getting on my nerves.
Problems can be fixed. Let's talk about how to fix it rather than criticize people shall we? I'm honestly shaking with annoyance. I really need to scream at a pillow as I've just slapped a wall and my hand is now smarting.
OKAY fine I will print a sticker of some sort. When we couldn't get it laser done, you didn't say anything either. FINE. I GET IT.
FUCK IT ALL. OKAY.
I was there at the exhibition all morning. 10 to 2... that's four hours. And you were there from 2 to 6 and you make it sound like I'm not there at all. FUCK YOU.
.......
Ai... So... she came into my room and changed the topic.
I felt my irritation dissipate. WTF is this witchcraft.
I'm still annoyed, but I can take a deep breath and continue on. As long it's not the exhibition I should be okay.
I know she's not a bad person, and I'd hope I'm not a bad person. I just need some breathing room.
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