So today I had a semi deep conversation with my mom, some time hanging out with the team in the last lesson today, and time to think to myself a little.
Perhaps it's because I'm on my period again so I'm getting emotional... but I do wonder what would've happened if my last year in high school wasn't so tragic feeling...
That girl has changed quite a bit from what I see (her outer personality at least) and I still wish in my heart that things hadn't gone so wrong... even if she did hate me inside and out....
I'm happy with what I've become... but I just feel so upset whenever I know something about her life... and that I'm not part of her happiness anymore. Not even through Loraurel...
Strangely... May 15 is still an important day that stands out in my mind. Just because I had five years where I've found that day so special... and for some reason it still is...
This year... I hope to finish a drawing or two of loraurel by that date... but at the same time I don't think they matter to her anyways...
I don't know... should I talk to her about it when she's free... or should I just ignore these sad feelings of mine and give myself the feeling that I don't need her...?...
I want to see a therapist...
