Ok... it's been a week or so. So... I shall be updating my blog! Yay! Another thing is that Hilary is telling me I should. So I'm thinking of something.
Well today something totally stupid but interesting happened. Well as most people know, today I had a missing water bottle. I put a waterbottle into my backpack this morning and apparently it got lost in my backpack.
I got home today, thirsty... very thirsty and tried to find the waterbottle that I lost since I KNOW I took one and put it into my backpack. So. In the afternoon I had no luck, then just... 5 mins ago, as I was packing up for school tomorrow, I was confused on how heavy the front pocket was. So I opened the front pocket and voila there was the waterbottle.
I seriously feel stupid though, I walked around school about not having water and yet there was a waterbottle in the front pocket! I guess I put it there by mistake while I was rushing to get out of the house.
Haha... still feels pretty stupid.
Hm... ok... lets see...
Today I noticed that I've been talking pretty monotone in person. I don't feel very different on the internet or at school, but apparently I have stoned my emotions just slightly. Haha. Not sure if it's good or bad, but I wonder.
So... I talked to Mar for like... 5 mins on aim today and I asked her... "Am I sarcastic lately?"
And she said I have been. I'm not quite sure how I got to this point, but I get the feeling there's nothing really important in my life anymore. Everything just seems bland to me. Of course that's not the case, but it just feels like it in minor situations where it doesn't matter what happens.
Hm... What else.. well... My mom got me my first pair of SKINNY JEANS! Now... I'm pretty excited about that (in a sarcastic kind of way) but other people don't seem to care. D: well I don't blame them, skinny jeans are the norm of school wear. But I'm not going to start wearing nice clothes to school now.
I'm in the process of modernizing, (remembers embarrassing show on how old-fashion I am today). Whenever I say I'm modernizing I feel like Japan... To Modernization!
Uh... well. I decided not to wear nice "modernized" clothes to school now since, I don't find the reason.
It's not like anyone really cares or notices, and... my existence is just slightly above invisible.
Well it's not like I'm trying to impress anyone, not that I like anyone in the school so, why do I try to show off my good side.
Hm... well.. also I've been quite obsessed with Hetalia AND Hitman Reborn <3
I love the series on so much >3
So now I'm curious. I tried doing many quizes about Hitman Reborn honestly to see my Ring Attribute and apparently Sky or Rain. Which are both very good results.
Tsuna and Yamamoto! Tsuna can be cool in his Hyper mood >D
Hm... I would like to see my friend's ring attribute. Maybe we can have something like the Akatsuki again. Haha... the good ole days when I was obsessed.
(still Itachi luvin')
Well... that shall be my post for today. I might write another tomorrow :D since I know I have more to say, just not today.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The Past Returns
Alright. I'm feeling better from yesterday, so now I need to replace the sad post with a more interesting one.
Hm... though my dad did complain about my life again, so I can't do anything about that.
Uh... Well apparently EVERYONE is gone. Except for Jessica and we really don't know what to do. Usually outings are with 3 or more people. So just being the two of us really is kinda odd. Even elora isn't around to.
Maru-chan = NY
Hiyori = Taiwan
Yujin = Korea (I think)
Elora = Boston
=.= seriously everyone's gone. I'm barely staying entertained while I stay home in front of the computer and obsess over Hetalia.
Hm... we'll I have another interesting hetalia vid
Watch is the Japanoid (Vocaloid Kaito) complain about his love for salt in music.
Haha I had a few more, but from the three I had, I liked this one I guess. I'll use the rest for other post ^^
Hm... well another thing I saw on youtube is the Male versions of K-ON songs and by far... they sound pretty good
Though some other fans say that Yuu (male version of Yui's voice) is too high, but I think it sounds fine. Reminds me of Italy's voice childish and high for a guy.
Now some songs I shall post.
Tsubasa o Kudasai (Please Give Me Wings)
Watashi no Koi wa Hotchikiss (My Love is a Stapler)
Haha these were my fave "gender-bender" songs from K-ON.
Hm... Well there was a typhoon that hit Taiwan recently. Luckly it didn't effect Taipei that much so that Hilary and my family wasn't effect by it that much. But the Central and Southern parts of Taiwan got hit the most and many homes were destroyed in the flood and mudslides.
Everyone Please Send Your Prayers, Hopes, and Wishes to Them!
I found a Hetalia comic based on this: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Indeed...
Well something happened recently that I couldn't really tell anyone since no one was on Facebook.
My best friend and crush in 3rd grade added me on facebook. I was quite shocked. He's the one that I confessed to and then he moved. =.=
I was surprised to hear from him again. So this is why the title of the post is like so.
Well, we chatted just a bit and it seems he's an anime fan too. Not a Otaku yet though, since he watches only mainstream series.
It was kinda weird talking to him again and he was kinda like, "I wish I could go back to Pleasanton and see you again!"
It was kinda weird at the same time... since he's the only guy I confessed to in elementary school that accepted it. So... it was like "uh... haha yeah.... :)"
Indeed... I seriously hope this isn't a sign that the past WILL return. But then that's not too bad either since then I might see Kouhei again. HAHA... weird of me.
Sadly though, my heart belongs to someone else ;D (going to use him as an excuse now)
Haha... so this is how the past returns to greet me.
OH! By the wayyy~ apparently I lost 13 pounds this summer! I'm so proud. I get a feeling I might lose another in the next two days. So I shall keep the blog updated on my weight loss. XD
Hm... though my dad did complain about my life again, so I can't do anything about that.
Uh... Well apparently EVERYONE is gone. Except for Jessica and we really don't know what to do. Usually outings are with 3 or more people. So just being the two of us really is kinda odd. Even elora isn't around to.
Maru-chan = NY
Hiyori = Taiwan
Yujin = Korea (I think)
Elora = Boston
=.= seriously everyone's gone. I'm barely staying entertained while I stay home in front of the computer and obsess over Hetalia.
Hm... we'll I have another interesting hetalia vid
Watch is the Japanoid (Vocaloid Kaito) complain about his love for salt in music.
Haha I had a few more, but from the three I had, I liked this one I guess. I'll use the rest for other post ^^
Hm... well another thing I saw on youtube is the Male versions of K-ON songs and by far... they sound pretty good
Though some other fans say that Yuu (male version of Yui's voice) is too high, but I think it sounds fine. Reminds me of Italy's voice childish and high for a guy.
Now some songs I shall post.
Tsubasa o Kudasai (Please Give Me Wings)
Watashi no Koi wa Hotchikiss (My Love is a Stapler)
Haha these were my fave "gender-bender" songs from K-ON.
Hm... Well there was a typhoon that hit Taiwan recently. Luckly it didn't effect Taipei that much so that Hilary and my family wasn't effect by it that much. But the Central and Southern parts of Taiwan got hit the most and many homes were destroyed in the flood and mudslides.
Everyone Please Send Your Prayers, Hopes, and Wishes to Them!
I found a Hetalia comic based on this: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Indeed...
Well something happened recently that I couldn't really tell anyone since no one was on Facebook.
My best friend and crush in 3rd grade added me on facebook. I was quite shocked. He's the one that I confessed to and then he moved. =.=
I was surprised to hear from him again. So this is why the title of the post is like so.
Well, we chatted just a bit and it seems he's an anime fan too. Not a Otaku yet though, since he watches only mainstream series.
It was kinda weird talking to him again and he was kinda like, "I wish I could go back to Pleasanton and see you again!"
It was kinda weird at the same time... since he's the only guy I confessed to in elementary school that accepted it. So... it was like "uh... haha yeah.... :)"
Indeed... I seriously hope this isn't a sign that the past WILL return. But then that's not too bad either since then I might see Kouhei again. HAHA... weird of me.
Sadly though, my heart belongs to someone else ;D (going to use him as an excuse now)
Haha... so this is how the past returns to greet me.
OH! By the wayyy~ apparently I lost 13 pounds this summer! I'm so proud. I get a feeling I might lose another in the next two days. So I shall keep the blog updated on my weight loss. XD
Sunday, August 16, 2009
am i really HOPELESS, Useless?
Hello blogger. Something struck me today and I just needed to get it out someway somehow.
Today my dad yelled at me again. I'm not quite sure why. Well it wasn't "yelling" exactly, but we argued in the car. I seriously don't know why he was so mad. I started crying when I got home. It wasn't a bawling cry, but tears came out and I wanted to scream my heart out.
"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME! I CAN'T EVEN SEE YOU AS MY DAD!"
how come
Tears fell and I ran the conversation through my head again.
It started when I got on the car from tutor lessons. My mom was driving with my dad at the passenger seat.
I was telling my mom the time for next time and my dad started to ramble on about what's the point since I'm not going to study anyways.
This didn't hurt as much since he's already said it so many times. So just continued to ask my mom about things.
But my dad continued to ramble and shame me. He kept telling me I was hopeless and to be an interior designer I didn't need to study since that's how low my standard are. Said I didn't even need to go to college.
This hurt. Even though he's said it before, I just wanted to punch him each time.
I told my mom, "See mom... I told you dad doesn't care about me at all. I could die in the streets and he won't care."
Then my dad said, "Then go die. Not like you have any use anyways"
Even though it was from the person I hate most, it hurt like hell. Sure my grades aren't as great as Kim's nor Andy's, but there's no need to say that I should die and I'm unless in life.
Maybe this is how I told myself that I don't belong in this world.
So... I let it go. Because, this person... so-called my "dad" doesn't know me AT ALL.
Sure I don't like reading... and I don't read REAL books. But because I lack normal books and novels. I'm reading TEXTBOOKS during my free time.
He only sees me watching anime and dramas, drawing, and reading manga because I finished the stupid homework he gave me.
This person doesn't know who I am. He's not worth it. Not even worth ranting about in this blog. But I just need to get it out since I suck at keeping journals.
Something that matters more to me is my mom and my friends, since they're the only people I can turn to.
Sure there's Itachi... but, I wish there was a more "physical" version of him so I could hug him or he could hug me. Maybe that's what I need, a hug. Something that my mom won't give me and my friends find awkward.
Maybe I just need someone who could lend me a shoulder and let me cry so I don't have to curl up in the closet and sob silently.
I'm afraid to tell my friends. They once told me I'm too dramatic, as if I'm trying to make a Korean drama or something. I wish I could just say. It really hurts. It's collected inside and coming out just a bit as tears. As the underlying problem slowly destroys me from the inside.
Once mar said to me in one of her attempts to get me to open, "You're hopeless."
I knew she didn't mean it the same way as the other times I've been called hopeless, but it still stung to be called that from a friend that I cherish.
I realized today, that I don't know any of my good points, I don't think I have them. I'm not smart, pretty, skinny, tough, kind, friendly, sociable, popular, attractive, strong, funny, rich, talented, artistic, there's not even one thing I can be proud of myself.
-I say I'm Taiwanese and is proud of it. But I'm more of a disgrace to Taiwanese.
-I claim my Japanese is good, but there are people who are better than me.
-I think I'm an awesome TA for wisdom, that's just my imagination.
-I say I have the chance of being the Japanese club prez senior year. It's not possible for me.
-Good at swimming? No... there's people who beat me by a mile.
-My chinese is good? Not at all. I just don't have an accent.
-I think I'm mature. HA that's wishful thinking.
-I wonder if I'm street smart. that's impossible. In the city I'll just be raped and killed or something.
I have nothing to be proud about myself.
Otakuness? I'm only 60% otaku and there's people more dedicated. Though, I'm to the point where I seriously have no life and will fail in the future.
It hurts to be told that everyday. Maybe I'm just being dramatic again. I'm trying hard to change myself. Maybe it's really just not enough. I give up I guess.
I just want to go to the closet and cry again. Well. I do have some other news, but I afraid this post isn't the post to do it.
Well. We'll see if I can wake up with panda eyes in the morning.
Today my dad yelled at me again. I'm not quite sure why. Well it wasn't "yelling" exactly, but we argued in the car. I seriously don't know why he was so mad. I started crying when I got home. It wasn't a bawling cry, but tears came out and I wanted to scream my heart out.
"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME! I CAN'T EVEN SEE YOU AS MY DAD!"
how come
Tears fell and I ran the conversation through my head again.
It started when I got on the car from tutor lessons. My mom was driving with my dad at the passenger seat.
I was telling my mom the time for next time and my dad started to ramble on about what's the point since I'm not going to study anyways.
This didn't hurt as much since he's already said it so many times. So just continued to ask my mom about things.
But my dad continued to ramble and shame me. He kept telling me I was hopeless and to be an interior designer I didn't need to study since that's how low my standard are. Said I didn't even need to go to college.
This hurt. Even though he's said it before, I just wanted to punch him each time.
I told my mom, "See mom... I told you dad doesn't care about me at all. I could die in the streets and he won't care."
Then my dad said, "Then go die. Not like you have any use anyways"
Even though it was from the person I hate most, it hurt like hell. Sure my grades aren't as great as Kim's nor Andy's, but there's no need to say that I should die and I'm unless in life.
Maybe this is how I told myself that I don't belong in this world.
So... I let it go. Because, this person... so-called my "dad" doesn't know me AT ALL.
Sure I don't like reading... and I don't read REAL books. But because I lack normal books and novels. I'm reading TEXTBOOKS during my free time.
He only sees me watching anime and dramas, drawing, and reading manga because I finished the stupid homework he gave me.
This person doesn't know who I am. He's not worth it. Not even worth ranting about in this blog. But I just need to get it out since I suck at keeping journals.
Something that matters more to me is my mom and my friends, since they're the only people I can turn to.
Sure there's Itachi... but, I wish there was a more "physical" version of him so I could hug him or he could hug me. Maybe that's what I need, a hug. Something that my mom won't give me and my friends find awkward.
Maybe I just need someone who could lend me a shoulder and let me cry so I don't have to curl up in the closet and sob silently.
I'm afraid to tell my friends. They once told me I'm too dramatic, as if I'm trying to make a Korean drama or something. I wish I could just say. It really hurts. It's collected inside and coming out just a bit as tears. As the underlying problem slowly destroys me from the inside.
Once mar said to me in one of her attempts to get me to open, "You're hopeless."
I knew she didn't mean it the same way as the other times I've been called hopeless, but it still stung to be called that from a friend that I cherish.
I realized today, that I don't know any of my good points, I don't think I have them. I'm not smart, pretty, skinny, tough, kind, friendly, sociable, popular, attractive, strong, funny, rich, talented, artistic, there's not even one thing I can be proud of myself.
-I say I'm Taiwanese and is proud of it. But I'm more of a disgrace to Taiwanese.
-I claim my Japanese is good, but there are people who are better than me.
-I think I'm an awesome TA for wisdom, that's just my imagination.
-I say I have the chance of being the Japanese club prez senior year. It's not possible for me.
-Good at swimming? No... there's people who beat me by a mile.
-My chinese is good? Not at all. I just don't have an accent.
-I think I'm mature. HA that's wishful thinking.
-I wonder if I'm street smart. that's impossible. In the city I'll just be raped and killed or something.
I have nothing to be proud about myself.
Otakuness? I'm only 60% otaku and there's people more dedicated. Though, I'm to the point where I seriously have no life and will fail in the future.
It hurts to be told that everyday. Maybe I'm just being dramatic again. I'm trying hard to change myself. Maybe it's really just not enough. I give up I guess.
I just want to go to the closet and cry again. Well. I do have some other news, but I afraid this post isn't the post to do it.
Well. We'll see if I can wake up with panda eyes in the morning.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Random Drabbles
Uh... indeed... So it's been a while since I updated here. And. By that I'm starting to be afraid to. But I shall anyways. Since I made this for a reason and it shall fulfill it's purpose.
Well lately one thing has been on my mind... and that is the problem! I'm not going to say much about of it. But I'm tired of it.
Is it possible just to completely start over and not care what happens anymore. That's what I want to do. Well... No more talk about this. It's starting to annoy me. But this is what's making life such a pain.
Ok... well... lately I've been aura sense. As one would say it. I noticed I can sense lots of auras even through the internet. But... the only aura I can't sense is how much people care about me. I wonder why that is. Well. I shall ponder over that much more.
It's pretty lonely for me in P-town lately. Since Hilary's gone to taiwan and Maru-chan's going to NY soon. I'm going to miss them, I do hope they come back though, so we can all hang out together again. Maybe a mall trip. Seriously... only I haven't been to the great mall before. =.= I seriously have never been shopping in the great mall before. There's something wrong with me.
Hm... lets see. Hetalia obsessions go on! Of course. I'm starting to love lots of characters and I started to accept SOME Yaoi pairs
So far as far as my Hetalia pairings go
UK x China
Taiwan x Japan
N. Italy x Germany
Indeed. That is all I accept so far. Yay! XD uhhh well I'm lovin the series. I hope the manga volume 3 comes out soon! I really want to see Taiwan appear in the series! TAIWANNN~
ER... Indeed. Japan is cute too... though I love ALL Hetalia charas! <3>///< height="265" width="320">
UK being uber cute X3 sung also by his voice actor <3 sasuke =".=")" height="265" width="320">
And the sad video. I was about to cry watching this about China's history. Beautiful video though
Well I'll leave it at that today. Leave more vids for another day
BTW today I decided to check out how Naruto Shippuden was doing :3 and to my luck I was watching part one of episode 121. And oh how I fangirled >D
The first scene was my love for so long... ITACHI! <3>D
I am so pathetic... seriously... I like 2D guys... TT^TT I need a real crush or something. This is dangerous.
Uh... Well lets leave more fangirling to another day shall we :)
Well lately one thing has been on my mind... and that is the problem! I'm not going to say much about of it. But I'm tired of it.
Is it possible just to completely start over and not care what happens anymore. That's what I want to do. Well... No more talk about this. It's starting to annoy me. But this is what's making life such a pain.
Ok... well... lately I've been aura sense. As one would say it. I noticed I can sense lots of auras even through the internet. But... the only aura I can't sense is how much people care about me. I wonder why that is. Well. I shall ponder over that much more.
It's pretty lonely for me in P-town lately. Since Hilary's gone to taiwan and Maru-chan's going to NY soon. I'm going to miss them, I do hope they come back though, so we can all hang out together again. Maybe a mall trip. Seriously... only I haven't been to the great mall before. =.= I seriously have never been shopping in the great mall before. There's something wrong with me.
Hm... lets see. Hetalia obsessions go on! Of course. I'm starting to love lots of characters and I started to accept SOME Yaoi pairs
So far as far as my Hetalia pairings go
UK x China
Taiwan x Japan
N. Italy x Germany
Indeed. That is all I accept so far. Yay! XD uhhh well I'm lovin the series. I hope the manga volume 3 comes out soon! I really want to see Taiwan appear in the series! TAIWANNN~
ER... Indeed. Japan is cute too... though I love ALL Hetalia charas! <3>///< height="265" width="320">
UK being uber cute X3 sung also by his voice actor <3 sasuke =".=")" height="265" width="320">
And the sad video. I was about to cry watching this about China's history. Beautiful video though
Well I'll leave it at that today. Leave more vids for another day
BTW today I decided to check out how Naruto Shippuden was doing :3 and to my luck I was watching part one of episode 121. And oh how I fangirled >D
The first scene was my love for so long... ITACHI! <3>D
I am so pathetic... seriously... I like 2D guys... TT^TT I need a real crush or something. This is dangerous.
Uh... Well lets leave more fangirling to another day shall we :)
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